I was in a meeting once in which a woman began to tell this interesting story. She was part of a group that was planning an event for their religious organization. Every time it was her turn to speak and report her findings to the group, another woman would take over and do her part. She became annoyed and finally decided to report this behavior to the main leader and overseer of the project. After she voiced her complaint, the project manager asked, “Are you ready to hear this?” The woman, a little apprehensive, said, “Yes.” The manager asked, “Can you love more?”
Perhaps the woman who was overstepping had a fear of being overshadowed, a lack of self-worth, or a need to be validated, seen and heard. The manager was telling the woman that by remaining silent and just loving more, this would give the other time to grow and learn her own lessons.
This story has stayed with me over the years. How often do we find ourselves in a similar situation, one that causes us to react, lash out, or put another “in their place.”
Little annoyances and irritations can arise on a daily basis. Why is that person taking so long with the bank teller as we wait and wait our turn? And look, that woman has at least 40 coupons for the cashier to go through at the checkout line in the grocery store. Does every traffic light really have to turn red when I’m in a hurry?
When we are in those and many other situations, we can say to ourselves: “I am in this moment, right here, right now. I will never have this moment again. I can love more right now.”
When we are “in love,” a state of Being that is so pure and selfless, we find we are in love with the people in line at the bank, the grocery store, the people in all of the cars at the traffic light. This state of love makes room for us to see, to know, to just be. And like the lady in the first story, we find we have nothing prove, and nothing to lose.
A woman from another country once told me this about her husband. He was so well known for his love, patience and wisdom, that people in their village would come to him to settle disputes and arguments. She said, “He is the only person I have ever known who can mend two hearts and never leave a seam.” Love leaves behind no scars, only new growth.
So we all might ask at this point, “How does one evolve into such a state of love?” For myself, in my morning contemplations, I say, “Show me how to love more.” Then without fail opportunities arise. And when we don’t get it right, life always gives us another chance. Love never gives up on us, and we can’t give up on love. It is our true and natural state. We’ve just forgotten.
I also remind myself of this story. Years ago I heard an interview on the radio with a monk who lived in Chicago. The interviewer asked, “How can you live a contemplative life in the midst of such a busy city?” The monk replied, “I don’t bring contemplation into my life. I bring my life into my contemplation.”
May great love find its way to you today.